Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
