So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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