So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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