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• (334): View more from Alabama

  how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.

  (281): View more from Texas

  That does show growth.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.

  (316): View more from Kansas

  And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll just say I told you so at your funeral

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• (619): View more from California

  I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.

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