"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
