Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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