is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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