Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
