very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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