Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
