new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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