Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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