i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
