would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
