She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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