Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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