You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
