Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Soap is not a condiment
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
