My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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