Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
