So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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