I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
