plz talk dirty to me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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