The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
