I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
