I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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