He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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