Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
