If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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