If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
