we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
