im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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