im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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