Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
