Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
