Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
