Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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