I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
In America we eat man semen.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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