we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
