If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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