He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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