i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
