I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
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I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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