two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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