I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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