Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
