Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
