we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
