what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
