At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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