I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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