I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
