I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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