Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
