ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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