Tell her she can't have a vagina
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
foreskin is a definite game changer
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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