hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
