the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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