Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
